Worth The Wait Revolution: A New Breed Of Super Models

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Dr. Lindsay Marsh is a young, inspiring woman with a heart to see young people: teenagers, college students and singles, experience God’s best, and fulfill their destinies, while keeping their own ‘flavor’ as a sold-out believer. Originally from Shaker Heights, Ohio, she attended The George Washington University in Washington, D.C. for undergraduate, medical school, and post-graduate training, specializing in anesthesiology.

Her passion and enthusiasm for revolutionizing the concept of sexual purity through the Worth The Wait Revolution was evident in her voice during the time we spent with her this month learning more about the vision.

LPS: How did Worth the Wait start and when?

LM: So I was finishing my residency in 2006, turning 30, and writing my book — The Best Sex Of My Life: A Guide To Purity. It was busy time for me. During one of my devotional times with the Lord, I heard him say to my spirit: “Lindsay you are worth the wait”. It meant so much to me because in saying that He was encouraging me about finishing this residency because I had really been studying and in training for like 12yrs at the time, he was saying you are worth the wait in the sense that “I know you are turning 30, but you really gotta trust me for what you are believing for as far as a husband”, ultimately being worth the wait as far as just destiny, purpose and all that He has planned for my life. It was really a strong word for me.

So I decided to put it on a shirt just for myself; the first shirt I did said “I Am Worth The Wait.” And when you make a shirt you cant just order one piece you have to order at least a dozen. I ordered a few and started wearing them. Other people saw it and to my surprise, wanted to know where they could get one. So I started to tell them that they could get one from me (laughs). And that was how Worth The Wait the clothing label was birthed. Much later, God expounded on the vision and the mission. The shirts are for both male and female and we brand them as Sexual Purity Urban Apparel.

God used to say to me growing up, “Lindsay, you are a supermodel for the Kingdom”; that’s why we’ve put Worth The Wait on the runway. It is our non-traditional way of reaching out to people regarding sexual purity. Project Runway and American’s Next Top Model is mainstream in our culture and these shows are being widely watched. We are taking a concept people already think is hot and current in the mainstream culture and revolutionizing it for the glory of God. Your lifestyle is your runway; you really are a model and people are watching you all the time.

We had a launch party for Worth the Wait on the campus of Gorge Washington University in July 2006 and that served as our official coming out.

LPS: How do you define urban class? When I visited your website (www.iamworththewait.com), the first image I saw was of you on a bike and I thought to myself, “Ok, this is cool” It was clear to me that you were trying to change the image that virgins or celibate people are boring and unattractive. But urban class can be associated with what people see on TV and the girls in music videos. They are not exactly an example of how to dress. Was it your intention to have people go there in their minds and then redefine?

LM: My intention is to redefine and reshape the paradigm all together. Like you said, traditionally, if you are a virgin or celibate the stereotype is that are sad, pitiful, unattractive, and unpopular. It’s like you are a virgin because nobody wants you. That is very depressing and not what God intended. We all think of supermodels as captivating because of their style, finesse, and the image they project. God placed it on my heart that we need to revolutionize this concept of abstinence and virginity so that more people would want to be like us.

When I started to develop the marketing and the image for organization I knew that I wanted to be provocative in a way that will force them to re-think sexual purity. I want them to see a successful woman, who is attractive but a virgin by choice. I want them to think “she made it cool”, “she made it hot”, “and she made it something I can aspire to be”.

And what you will find with the Worth The Wait Revolution is a team of young people excited about life and God. Their message is that you can be sexually pure and keep your flavor. I write in my book that holiness is not so much about your “do” but your “who”. It is about who you are. God looks at the heart but we need to remember that people are looking on the outside. We have to market to people to win them.

LPS: That is so true. In the time of the Bible however they dressed or talked … was current to how they lived. So we have to do a bit of translating so that scripture can be relevant to the current culture.

LM: We can’t come to this generation without an understanding of hip-hop because it pretty much runs every thing now. We have to ask God for wisdom on how to revolutionize what is important to them and use it so that He can be glorified. And that is how Worth the Wait has been successful so far.

LPS: You are also providing a relevant choice to this generation because people are having to choose between how great these women on ANTM look versus how uneventful the Christian women is stereotyped to look, it just makes it needlessly much harder to make that choice for a young person. When what we are most concerned about is their heart.

At what point in your life did God get through to you personally on this message of sexual purity before it became something to share with the world and what was your mindset before then?

LM: Well, I grew up in an African American Presbyterian Church. God bless my parents for giving me the foundation of church and churchgoing but quite honestly I didn’t learn anything in church and I didn’t have a relationship with God. I decided to make God my savior at 13 after complete a class in church but still without the relationship. I went to church out of social obligation and really to see who was cute and gossip.

At 16, I had my first boyfriend. My parents taught me that virginity was important but we never sat down to have the sex talk. When I got this first real boyfriend. It was my first time holding hands where it was meaningful. I’m at the age where I am starting to have adult emotions so I’m thinking this is amazing. Well, it was amazing for only about 2wks and then after that, and I talk more about this in my book, I went from holding hands to kissing this guy and I mean really kissing the guy … like on the movies kissing (laughs). Emotions are high, my teenage hormones are raging and I’m feeling like I really him. We went from holding hands to kissing to touching to rubbing and humping. And in my book I talk about what we were doing as satisfaction without penetration; we were involved in heavily charged sexual activity but there was no penetration.

So at the end of the day, I found out this guy was having sex with other people. Now at 16yrs old that really broke my heart. It was a very pivotal time for me because out of my heartbreak, I somehow began to seek the face of God. I can’t explain to you why because it wasn’t like I had a praying grandmother or a spiritual mentor. But out of this crazy relationship, my relationship with Christ is birthed.

In my senior year as I was trying to decide on colleges, I came to visit GWU, fell in love with DC and made a destiny connection with a family I met. And they were going to be the only hook-up I had to my current pastors. Pastor Mike and DeeDee Freeman of Spirit of Faith Ministries were the first people that really looked me in the eye and said you are a virtuous woman. I had never heard such words. They told me that my body was a temple … and that God had a plan for my life. I was already so wide open for the Lord so this was phenomenal for me. So instead of loosing my mind in college like being 18 and uninhibited affords, I was latching on to every word from God and from my Pastors. That is probably why my heart is so strong for college ministry. It is where Christ became so real to me. So in really understanding Christ sacrifice over my life, I started to think to myself that I couldn’t give it away at a discount.

But truthfully, I had to work it out. I was still challenged when I went back home to see my old boyfriend. But I continued to grow and commit to the lifestyle. I even talk in my book of a new relationship I was in college that was with a Christian whom in the course of our relationship pushed all my boundaries because we had different ideas about relationships and sexual purity. The beautiful thing about that it happened when I was 21 and now I am happy to celebrate 10yrs of living a sexual pure lifestyle where I haven’t even kissed a guy. I know what I deserve in a husband. I tell people that Worth The wait is not a life sentence. There is coming a day when you will walk down the aisle and experience everything you’ve been waiting for because you trusted the Lord!

LPS: Wow, what a great testimony! How does one have an authentic and genuine relationship with a man without sex? A lot of people consider sex as the most meaningful level of intimacy.

I think authentic intimacy is established when there is honesty and integrity between two people on a path to deciding whether they will enter a marriage together. In being honest and transparent with your partner, revealing who you really are, communicating your goals, purpose, destiny … I think that is where authentic intimacy can’t help but be established. Certainly, the culmination of it all is when the two come together in one body during sex. But I think before marriage, there is a lot of coming together that can happen on a spiritual, social, and intellectual level. When I think of my husband as someone that will complement my destiny, purpose, ministry, style, finances and everything … we definitely have to share an intimate connection.

LPS: What about if there is no hope of a relationship in the future. How does someone deal with “I may never experience sex”, especially if they are getting older and frustrated?

LM: I would say, don’t count yourself out. Regardless of where you are, male, female, single, married, divorced … if that is really the desire of your heart then continue to trust God. Sex is God’s idea. I’m just one of those radical people that believes if God will stop the sun for Joshua in the Bible, then surely he can stop your biological clock.

LPS: What about the woman like you who has strong faith and believes that her husband will arrive. How should they deal with being frustrated with not being able to express themselves sexually?

LM: For me thoughts can get overwhelming. So one thing that I make sure to do is take control of my thoughts. I try to run my thoughts so that they don’t run me. I don’t allow myself to tolerate or handle music or movies that I know will handle me later. I am pretty aggressive with guarding my heart.

But thoughts still come because that is what they do. So I am a big advocate of worship. You really have to make your worship experience personal and daily. When I get anxious, I know that I can reach out to God and allow him to keep me. In those moments, the reality of psalms comes to pass in that I find a fullness of joy in his presence.

LPS: How do you feel about men that say “I’ll do it for you”? As opposed to they making a conscious decision for themselves that they are Worth the Wait. A lot of times some of those guys break and put pressure on their partners because they didn’t make an intimate decision for themselves. So is it enough just to find a guy that can respect a decision to wait or do we need to find men that have made a decision to wait themselves?

LM: That is an interesting question that I think can go both ways. People have different life experiences that have brought them to where they are. I think it depends on both people. I encourage women to ask God for wisdom about it. They might just get a green light from God saying that “I know what this guy’s past looks like but his heart is pure and he means what he is saying about respecting your decision to wait.”

On the other hand, there are guys that are a part of that Worth the Wait Revolution that are virgins at 28 and even others celibate for as much as 7yrs. These guys are very serious about their relationship with God and are looking for women who are too. So I think it depends. Most certainly God’s best will probably be the two people who have made the commitment independent of one another. But I think what can happen too is that people can see who you are and say…wow I want to live a sexually pure lifestyle too.

LPS: How do you avoid premature attachment? A lot of times that is what breeds sexual feelings too early. How do you avoid attaching yourself so much that you before you even get to the part where you are discussing sexual boundaries?

LM: Make sure you have a clear vision from the onset. You should have a process of elimination. Some people are going through this dating buffet of life where they want to sample everybody. When you have a vision, you don’t have to sample people. If they don’t meet the criteria, they shouldn’t get the same attention. And that is not a bad thing. It is just being a little bit selective.

You should also be a good promoter of yourself. Build up your own self-image so that you don’t need someone to stroke you or pump you to make you feel good about yourself. I have learned how to encourage myself so that I don’t have to depend on someone to do so for me. I have learned how to say, “Lindsay, you are doing a great job!”

LPS: At the end of the day, I believe everyone is looking to validate him or herself. I know that abstinent Christian women sometimes feel like they are competing against other Christian women that aren’t striving to be sexually pure. They dislike being stereotyped as “uptight” because of their lifestyle. Women like these just want to be encouraged that they are doing the right thing and look and feel great doing it. And I think that is what your organization is doing and I thank God for that.

LM: Absolutely! Thank you.

Visit iamworththewait.com to learn more about Dr. Lindsay Marsh and the Worth Wait Revolution. Join the revolution by purchasing your own worth the wait tee shirt and making a commitment to a sexually pure lifestyle. Her book, The Best Sex of My Life: A Guide To Sexual Purity is available in bookstores nationwide. You can also visit her on myspace at: www.myspace.com/worththewaitllc